Post by lolzie on Dec 24, 2012 19:49:02 GMT -5
Joke 1:
Friend 1: My ex-girlfriend just updated her status on facebook, it said Im standing on the edge of a cliff
Friend 2: What did you say?
Friend 1: Nothing, i just poked her
Joke 2:
Me: You have beautiful Teeth
GF: Awwwwwww. Thanks:)
Me: they remind me of a song
GF: Which?
Me:Black and yellow
GF:Dumped
Joke 3:
GF:Want to see a magic trick?
Me: Sure
GF: Poof youre single!
Me: Want to hear a joke?
GF: Sure?
Me: Our relationship
Joke 4:
Person 1: Hey why'd your brother bring his cat to school today?
Person 2: Idk let me go ask him
Person 1: Okay
Person 2: He said because he heard mom and dad talking and said when the kids go to school imma eat dat pussy up
Joke 5:
Ex: I have a song for you, its called 'Want U Back' by Cher Lloyd :3
Person: Aw, I have a song for you too
Ex: Whats it called
Person: It's called 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift
Ex: Oh
Joke 6:
Girl: Babe I think Im pregnant......
Guy: The AT&T Subscriber yu are trying to contact is no longer in reach.
Girl: You spelled you wrong
Guy: The AT&T Subscriber you* are trying to contact is no longer in reach.
Joke 7:
Friend 1: Dude.... this song is old
Friend 2: Well so is your mom, and you still listen to her!
Friend 1: Touche
Joke 8:
Wife: Can you help me in garden??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a Gardener.. ??
Wife: Can you fix door handle??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a Carpenter. .??
In the Evening when husband came from the work, He saw everything
has been fixed..!! He asked: Who fixed this..??
Wife:"our Neighbour
but he gave me 2 options..!! Either I should give him burger or
a kiss..!!
Husband:I'm sure you
must have given a burger..!!
Wife: What do You think, I'm Mc'Donalds..?=D
Joke 9:
When Im not busy nobody texts me, but BAM right when Im busy still no one texts me....
Joke 10:
Person 1: There are 21 letters in the alphabet correct?
Person 2: No there is 26
Person 1: Ooooooh I always forget U, R, A, Q, T.
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Say it out loud
Person 2: How do you forget A?
Joke 11:
Kid: Hello Mr.________ How are you?
Parent: How do you think i am? You took my daughters virginity!!!
Kid: Im sorry sir, it wont happen again
Parent: Fuck you
Joke 12:
P1: Hey I heard you are going out with my ex. girlfriend. How does used pussy feel?
P2: What can I say? After the first two inches brand new
P1: Fuck you
Poem 1:
Mario is red
Megaman is blue
I have another controller
Will you be my player 2?
Poem 2:
Person: I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs, we dig, they dig
Person 2: What?
Person: Its a poem, not the best poem, but its DEEP. Deep-dig get it?
Poem 3:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
the middle ones
for you
Poem 4:
Person 1: Hey are you still mad at me?
Person 2: Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Person 1: How I wonder where you are?
Person 2: I want to hit you with my car
Person 1: Okay youre still mad
Poem 5:
Guy: Roses are red
Girl: Violets are blue
Guy: I really want.....
Girl: To f**k you!!!
Guy: and this is why your my girlfriend! Be over in 10!
Girl: XD
Hope some of these made you laugh.
-Lolzie
Friend 1: My ex-girlfriend just updated her status on facebook, it said Im standing on the edge of a cliff
Friend 2: What did you say?
Friend 1: Nothing, i just poked her
Joke 2:
Me: You have beautiful Teeth
GF: Awwwwwww. Thanks:)
Me: they remind me of a song
GF: Which?
Me:Black and yellow
GF:Dumped
Joke 3:
GF:Want to see a magic trick?
Me: Sure
GF: Poof youre single!
Me: Want to hear a joke?
GF: Sure?
Me: Our relationship
Joke 4:
Person 1: Hey why'd your brother bring his cat to school today?
Person 2: Idk let me go ask him
Person 1: Okay
Person 2: He said because he heard mom and dad talking and said when the kids go to school imma eat dat pussy up
Joke 5:
Ex: I have a song for you, its called 'Want U Back' by Cher Lloyd :3
Person: Aw, I have a song for you too
Ex: Whats it called
Person: It's called 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift
Ex: Oh
Joke 6:
Girl: Babe I think Im pregnant......
Guy: The AT&T Subscriber yu are trying to contact is no longer in reach.
Girl: You spelled you wrong
Guy: The AT&T Subscriber you* are trying to contact is no longer in reach.
Joke 7:
Friend 1: Dude.... this song is old
Friend 2: Well so is your mom, and you still listen to her!
Friend 1: Touche
Joke 8:
Wife: Can you help me in garden??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a Gardener.. ??
Wife: Can you fix door handle??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a Carpenter. .??
In the Evening when husband came from the work, He saw everything
has been fixed..!! He asked: Who fixed this..??
Wife:"our Neighbour
but he gave me 2 options..!! Either I should give him burger or
a kiss..!!
Husband:I'm sure you
must have given a burger..!!
Wife: What do You think, I'm Mc'Donalds..?=D
Joke 9:
When Im not busy nobody texts me, but BAM right when Im busy still no one texts me....
Joke 10:
Person 1: There are 21 letters in the alphabet correct?
Person 2: No there is 26
Person 1: Ooooooh I always forget U, R, A, Q, T.
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Say it out loud
Person 2: How do you forget A?
Joke 11:
Kid: Hello Mr.________ How are you?
Parent: How do you think i am? You took my daughters virginity!!!
Kid: Im sorry sir, it wont happen again
Parent: Fuck you
Joke 12:
P1: Hey I heard you are going out with my ex. girlfriend. How does used pussy feel?
P2: What can I say? After the first two inches brand new
P1: Fuck you
Poem 1:
Mario is red
Megaman is blue
I have another controller
Will you be my player 2?
Poem 2:
Person: I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs, we dig, they dig
Person 2: What?
Person: Its a poem, not the best poem, but its DEEP. Deep-dig get it?
Poem 3:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
the middle ones
for you
Poem 4:
Person 1: Hey are you still mad at me?
Person 2: Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Person 1: How I wonder where you are?
Person 2: I want to hit you with my car
Person 1: Okay youre still mad
Poem 5:
Guy: Roses are red
Girl: Violets are blue
Guy: I really want.....
Girl: To f**k you!!!
Guy: and this is why your my girlfriend! Be over in 10!
Girl: XD
Hope some of these made you laugh.
-Lolzie
